Happy Birthday to Jim

October 28, 2005 at 12:00 am | Posted in Murmuring | 2 Comments

Well, today should be remembered because a wise, handsome, courageous, awe-inspring, talented, great man was born.

Congratulations and celebrations~~~

And, for sure, I’m appreciated for all Gods that I came to know you and then become friends, though I’m still in doubt that if this is a big mistake……

Anyway, this diary is for you, Jwing. Happy birthday!

As what I said in the SMS, hope u become bigger, longer and further, being able to make a turn. ^O^

Baby

October 27, 2005 at 2:18 pm | Posted in Murmuring | 1 Comment

I finally got the pics of Joe’s baby. Look at them, really cute and sweet.

Another one

When I open these pics and take the first glance, I was really touched. Life is really beautiful and incredible.

I want to hold her tightly in my arm and kiss her, pretending being the mother. No doubt that I do be dreaming be mother for I’m not sure if I still give birth to a child. I still remembered what the doctor said to me……

Sometimes I’m deeply soaked by the fear. I understand that it’s the punishment from my babies, both of them. I’ve given up twice…..

I’m a coward, definitely.  

Fantastic Three in Once

October 24, 2005 at 11:59 am | Posted in Murmuring | 1 Comment

Three girls, at the beautiful age of 18, got to know each other and became good friends of good friends.

They rode bikes on the first day of New Year around the city praying to get good luck in the coming year but got a wrong way and drove to another city.

They played stupid games at the playground during class time. They laughed and laughed even though the college enrolment exam was to be taken the other day.

They shared their little secrects, when had the first kiss; with whom fell in love; what the love letters wrote……

They even promised that one will be the god-mother of the child of the other two.

However, they finally broke up because of foolish trivial things.  

Seven years are gone. However, smiles always crawl on my face everytime I think of those days, those time and those two of them. I do cherish them two, who gave me laughters in those green years.

 I even didn’t attend their wedding ceromonies and parties. Now, one, Joe, is mother of a eight months girl and the other, Qpig, going to be mother in the comming month.

Both of them may have forgotten our joking promise. But both of them have accomplished my wish.

I could be mother of a five months child now…

I happened to meet Joe on QQ today. I haven’t talked to her for three years, at least.

“Hi, How things going? I really want to see the pic of your little girl, could u send it to me?” I wrote the message to her.

“What a mess of life with a baby…” Joe anwered.

“But how’s the feeling of being a mother? It’s great , isn’t it? Holding it in your arms, feeling it part of your life, right?” I asked.

“I didn’t think I liked children. But it does be great after I gave birth to her because she’s mine!”

Yes, I can fully understand that feeling, the same feeling when I looked down on my belly one year ago.

I still remembered I would from time to time put my fingers on my belly to feel that life belonged to me, that part of me.

I shouldn’t have given it up. I know this clearly now, and thus I’m regret, deeply.

I won’t forgive myself in this life, for making the decision. It’s mine, the only thing I can have. But I gave it up…

I’m going to meet Joe next month when I’m home. And for sure, her little girl too. I’m really looking for it. Imagine the feeling holding that beautiful little thing as it’s my child. Fantastic, isn’t it?

Fantastic three in once. Mothers of two forever.

But, where am I?

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