If

November 25, 2005 at 10:16 am | Posted in Murmuring | 1 Comment

It was really bad last night.

I figured out the email for Jim. But I simply took it for granted that I reply to Jim as the email was forwarded by him. So, it was finally sent out to the interviewer/job offerer. Though it was signed as Jim at the bottom of the email, it was sent via my email account.

Jesus…… I really can’t forgive myself. My careless mistake may fail this job application.

What if….If there is what if, it will definitely another story.

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Wish

November 23, 2005 at 11:18 pm | Posted in Murmuring | 1 Comment

I suddenly thought of that I haven’t made the birthday wish.

It maybe a little bit late. But I still want to make the wish.

Gods, pls take my life ASAP.

I mean it. Please be quick.

Now I’m not happy, Pls do not speak with me.

November 23, 2005 at 10:42 pm | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Paula said so.

Jim behaves so.

I am so.

Walking along the crowded street to the bus station after work and feeling the coldness of the raoring wind, I heard the sound of my heart broken into pieces.

No money, no greeting, no friends and no one to walk along with.

I fear the cold winter as well as the loneliness.

I hurt someone and someone hurt me. It’s just like a perfect circle recycling endlessly.

I need love but I don’t want to give. I gain love but I ignore.
I finally become aware that I’m just a freak.

I can only recognize myself from others’ eyes. I always ask and only to ask.

I hurt my best friends. One, Two, Three……

Yeah~ I am Monster!

Drifting Sand

November 20, 2005 at 5:57 pm | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Mmm……I finally got 180 bucks on hand and 200 bucks in bank account.

I had never faced a problem like the word of “poor”, but now, I do be the first time facing with it.

Actually, I’m wondering if it’s a problem since it has a solution. Problems that have solutions don’t consitute problems, right?

But I still feel so uncomfortable. How come? How come I’m going into such a situation? The reason seems existing somewhere and I don’t want to find out, because I have no fears at all.

In all, it’s just a piece of nameless life not worth of mentioning. If I give it up, what else can do to me? So, shall I fear? Aha……

I don’t know why the fate want me to taste the word “poor” since no matter what happens, I won’t give up trying and since I have seen everthing throuhg.

Maybe, it wants me to find a shelter. Yes, the thought did strike me at some moment and faded away. Will I? Aha, good question!

Like it’s descriped in David Tao’s song of “Drifting Sand”, Love is like drifting sand — you are soaked little by little, swallowed bit by bit, then drowned in the end.

Aha, so where you are in the end?

La Vie En Rose

November 13, 2005 at 8:03 pm | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Wandering around in the Trust-Mart downstairs with the music of La Vie En Rose spreading around my ears from the earphone, I unintentionally noticed lots of packets of lamb, stacking in order one by one in the refrigerator.

I suddenly thought of the scene at those days, when two of Domy and I, sitting warmly around the table and smelling the sweet smell of lamb emitted from the boiling electric cooker.

Yes, warm and sweet…… neither the room tempreture nor the lamb. It’s the atmosphere and the picturesque scene that I won’t forget in this life.

Walking alone back to my apartment, I was still tasting preciously in my mind the scene I have been dreamt of. Yes, this is all I want and the only I want — a warm and sweet family with a man in warm and sweet smile sitting in front to have a warm and sweet dinner, and if possible, a child running around and shouting warmly and sweetly.

My heart sank to the bottom of sea, coldly and lonely. I didn’t wanna cry as I know it doesn’t work even though I cry.

La Vie En Rose, the life on rose, four simple words describe the incredible beauty. Is life like a charming rose that people will devote themselves to seize? But unfortunately, I see the whole, because I know the fabulous rose still goes fading after bloom.

I didn’t complaint anything. You don’t know what lies ahead as you can’t return to past. I won’t make a wish for I won’t believe it anymore. It would be better for me to sit down, enjoying this moment of life on rose with a cup of Tequila.

“C’est lui pour moi, moi pour lui. Dans la vie, Il me l’a dit, l’a jure pour la vie.” — already too far away from me.

(Download to listen to La Vie En Rose , click here)

Amazing Saturday

November 12, 2005 at 11:50 pm | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Went out with Jim today for a whole afternoon and night.

Mmm……actually, I bought him a dinner and a bottle of milk tea and a piece of blueberries cheese cake, and in return , he accompanied me for this whole afternoon to book market and the coffee shop……

Anyway, it’s worthy because I bought a lot of fantastic CDs, though most of them were brought home by Jim…..Damn~~

Well, record down these CDs, especially this amazing one I liked most. I think so, at least, because I haven’t heard about the others. 🙂

One:

Happy Birthday to Another Jim

November 11, 2005 at 12:00 am | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Well, this is a great day too, because another Great Jim was born today, 30 years ago……

So, yes, as you can see, he’s 30 years old. Oh my gosh, he’s an old man. Sorry, a old BOY. 🙂

Ok, please ignore the previous sentence as I’m telling a big secret. 🙂

But I do feel appreciated that I got to know this another Jim, or original Jim, and became my soulmate.

He has been giving me support along and a friend that I can trust and rely on.

I don’t know if he will walks along with me for the rest of my life. But I still thank Gods that he has accompanied me for this period of time.

Jim, happy birthday~

And from the bottom of my heart, wish you having a truelove as you’re longing for and the happy family you deserved.  

Another Baby

November 10, 2005 at 10:11 pm | Posted in Murmuring | Leave a comment

Had a long meeting this afternoon from 4:00pm to 7:00pm of internal group review.

When I was back to my seat, I took a glance at my mobile as routine and I found a SMS was sent by Qpig.

Yes, I suddenly thought of she was going to hospital today to “welcome” her baby. Here was what I read from the SMS.

“Little pigpig was born at 18:03 with weight of 3.95 kilo and length of 52cm, AND with a tiny dick.”

……..I gave out a big laughter, not only for the “tiny dick” but being happy for the child was born. I wholy felt the wild joy and excitement from depth of Qpig. Being Mother, it’s incredible, isn’t it?

So, I’m herewith solemnly celebrate for this great day when the great baby was born.

I love you, dear dear sweetie Qpig, take care~ I’m coming to see your great baby soon.

WOW, I really can’t wait to see you and your little one. 🙂 

No Matter What

November 7, 2005 at 12:19 am | Posted in Murmuring | 2 Comments

Suddenly thought of the fact that I’m gonna take the operation at month end during the shower and my mode dropped from hot to cold.

Still from time to time, I can’t help thinking about this. No doubt that I was scared. This is the first big operation since I could remember. I don’t know why and what I feared since I have my family around me and they will definitely take good care of me. But still, there is sth besides that and I fail to express.

I’ve told myself thousands of times that I should be positive because I have to be faced with that and positive is better than negative. Nevertheless, some silly questions would come into my mind, like “Why this would happen on me as I didn’t do anything bad?” or “Why this happened on me while those who hurted me are living well?”

I’m sure no answer for these questions. Things just come and go in the way they should be. If this is the punishment from my babies, I will never hesitate to take it.

Be strong. No matter what lies ahead, be strong.

You are the only one that can save yourself. 

Just Drop Down

November 5, 2005 at 11:40 pm | Posted in Favourites | Leave a comment

Went to play badminton with Mum tonight and shopping again after that. 🙂

Finally, I got two CD free of charge…because I asked someone to pay. 🙂

So, Just drop down two of these CDs.

One:

Two:

I like them~

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